Dealing with a Crisis

Praise The LORD Dear Thaththa I want to share a Mighty Miracle in my life and the work of the “Risen LORD in my life”.

As know I took up a very senior position as a head of a Business unit six weeks ago.As a part of my business plan my recommendation to the Board of Directors was to import two containers of stock based on promises that I received from customers who have bought goods of me over a considerable period of time.

The week the 1st Container arrived one of my customers informed me he had imported his own container and another customer had switch all is requirements to another brand.For Days I could not make any sale’s and the ridicule and insults in front of my own staff was hurled at me by the Directors. Despite longer hours at work and other commitments including serving CRL Melbourne, I decided that every single minute I have will be spent with the LORD in personal prayer and reflection pondering on his mighty works.

I made an Extra effort to go for Mass Daily,spend time in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament and received the sacrament of reconciliation.The situation at work was not improving and asked the community for prayers as well. However the “doubting THOMAS” was in the back of my human selfish persona and memories of the last few years came back when I had lost my job a couple of times.

However gradually a peace and calm came over me and I was willing to accept the worst as I knew GOD had a better plan for my betterment. However last week as I listened to Jagi preach on both and tuesday and wendesday the peace and calm turned to Joy as I relied totally on the LORD. I repeatedly listened to these Messages my fear went away totally.

On Sunday I logged on to Divine TV and there was my dear friend Bishop Prowse being webcast with a message he preached to the Youth sometime ago. His message was a about providence and the Bread and 5Fish and linking it to the Last super and the Holy mass that had the following aspects ‘Taken” “Blessed” “Broken” “shared” And still being left with more. I kept pondering on Jagi’s message of holding on to the LORD and Bishops Message allmost every minute of the Day. Yesterday A customer gave us a Inquiry for more than a container with up front payment. A Miracle only the living Christ can do in a hopeless situation when you enthrone him as your everything. Surely the anointing flowed thro the Messages that the LORD let me to listen.

Please keep praying for me. GOD BLESS Kirk
.Praise the Lord alleluia !!!

My mother was admitted to I.C.U/General Hospital on 27th of July,2012 as a result of a head inquiry which led to a severe internal bleeding. Since the accident was fatal, on doctor’s advice she had undergone an emergency surgery same day and was unconscious till then. Every time when I visited her at the hospital, I saw her condition was deteriorating and on 8th August , 2012 – when I visited last in the afternoon I saw she was struggling for her last breath and later in the evening I came for the prayer services at St. Peter’s College and I was praying in tears. I received a word of God saying “there is a person who’s mother is in the hospital and he is suffering – lord says in 7 days time I will restore her fully and you will have no problem”. On 9th August, 2012 I visited her in the afternoon, I saw her condition was something different compare to the other days as she was sleeping calmly. On 10th August, 2012 we received a call from the hospital saying she had passed away 9th August, 2012 late in the evening. We had her funeral on 13th of August, 2012 and I believe as she was touched by the lord before her death and now she is resting peace in lord’s hand. And again on 23rd August, 2012 when I came for the prayer service at SPC – I received another word of God saying; “there is a person who is mourning for a death person – don’t worry my child I am with you” I take this opportunity to thank lord for the graces I received, also a special thanks for those at Community of Risen Lord.

Thank you Jesus .

Nicholas JoachimpulleAccordion Sample Description
“Praise the Lord! I would like to testify to an amazing miracle God did in my life.

I first came into this journey as a broken person. I had just gotten out of a relationship and had failed to get into medicine after year 12. I was confused, sad and lost and through the 4 steps CRL retreat Jesus entered into my life in a new way. For the past three years I have come to love the Lord and to build a personal relationship with him. I was happy to study a 3 yr pre medicine course because I was sure that after three years when I applied for postgraduate medicine he would get me in. I was sure that this was the big miracle God would do in my life.

When I applied for postgraduate medicine last year I was not afraid or doubtful for I was sure that this is what he had planned for me. I was so sure of it that I did not even apply for a back up course just in case I didn’t get through to medicine. My friends thought I was crazy for not choosing a plan B. But I believed in God so I did not need back up plans. I was sure of him.

I was offered an interview in august from a uni that I thought I would not be able to get into because of it’s difficult entry requirements. Straight away I knew that this was God’s power and not due to my achievements. I was happy with how I performed in the interview and waited with hope and faith for the results.

However when the results were released in November, the day before I was to leave to Sri Lanka on holiday I was shocked. My application was rejected. After the initial shock I became sad, frustrated and angry. More than anything I realised that God had disappointed me. He had failed me. I was confused because I was so sure that I was doing his will but his performance was contradicting the plan he gave me. God seemed to be working against himself.

I didn’t know what to do. I had not applied for any other course. The previous degree I studied was useless on its own. Suddenly my courage of not applying for another course seemed foolish and stupid. I had nothing to fall back on.

In Sri Lanka my sister and I went to the weekly Tuesday and Wednesday prayer meetings. I suppose he planned this too, to be in an environment where I couldn’t get out of praising and thanking him. Initially I was mostly angry and upset but slowly through receiving the word continuously and being in worship I began to look away from my self-pity and look to Jesus. My daily prayer with God became a must. Now that he was all I had, he was all I needed. For the first time I truly understood what Lalith Thaththa meant by inner peace. My ego and pride was broken. In the eyes of the world I was a failure. My family and friends felt sorry for me. But in the midst of this God started to become my only strength, my only hope. God showed me how often I had relied on other people or things to make me happy. How even though he was my biggest strength there were certainly other strengths in my life. Worst of all he showed me how I was using him to get into medicine. Even though initially I thought I was surrendered and doing his will somewhere along the way my desire to do medicine had overcome my desire for him. Psalm 46 became my daily prayer. As the days became weeks God continued to strengthen me through his words, revelations and even through other people when I needed it. When the 2nd email came notifying me that I had failed to get into all 6 universities I applied for, I was surprisingly calm. I had found a new love and hope in my God that could not compare with anything else. It was around this time Lalith Thaththa started preaching the amazing truth; “I am in you, you are in me”.

I wish I could say that I continued to give the right inner response and that my faith did not fail. After failing to hear from any uni I started to become frustrated again. Frustration became anger. My poor Jesus, I gave him such a hard time. On the 24th of January my mother sent me a text message, forwarding a part of a reflection posted on Virtual Community . It was about the feast of conversion of St. Paul (25th Jan). The message referred to it as the ‘feast of divine intervention without human interaction’. That night I prayed to God asking him to do the same in my life. I told him that I needed to know what his will was for my life. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed a miracle.

On January 25th, the feast day of St. Paul, that miracle happened. I got a call from the same university I went for the interview offering me a place to study medicine. It felt unreal. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Even when I was impatient, frustrated and unfaithful God was faithful to his word.

I didn’t realise the gravity of it till I started the course on Monday and found out through word of mouth from a friend that the boy who was initially offered my place had attended enrolment day and suddenly decided that medicine was not for him. Thus a place became available for me.

When I told my mother about this she told me something even more remarkable. A few weeks ago she had claimed as for me, a word of knowledge received at the intercessory prayers about a young person being very fearful of the future, that God has everything already planned. Also there had been a promise of God given to her by another intercessor at a worship organised by the diocesan Catholic Charismatic Movement, quoting Isaiah 49:25 “I will contend with those who contend with you and your children I will save”!

All this time I thought that when I meet with a crisis and call out to God he starts to act. He showed me that he has already willed my life according to his plan. God had already acted. He had already gotten me into medicine. At his time the way before me suddenly cleared, through no effort of my own. What I longed for and worked for God presented to me freely, as pure gift.

I give all glory and praise, adoration to my Jesus, my saviour who is seated on high! “

God Bless.

Nimeshi

(sydney)
My twin sons are 4 ½ years old. At just 2 weeks one twin was diagnosed with a critical congenital heart condition.

We were told that despite all the progress in the world on cardiac treatment and surgical procedures, there was nothing in the world that could save my baby. Even if there was, he severely under weight and will not survive long enough to have a chance at surgery For the 1st time we were facing a situation where there was simply no options and no hope. Until then we have always been in situations where we could say “We will pray, but then we could always rely on medical intervention or some other fall back option if God decided not to show up. Until then the most desperate thing I had ever prayed for was for the blessing of becoming a mum, but even then I had decided that I always had the option of adopting.

The moment of sheer hopelessness and helplessness is paralyzing. You can’t see beyond the moment you are in, every attempt to look beyond with some sort of hope jut seems to draw a blank wall. I felt trapped, it felt like I was drowning and just couldn’t seem to breathe.

I could only see myself being one of those people running from pillar to post looking for God and healing and I was terrified. I remember when the shock started to wear off, I just went and sat on the bathroom floor with the lights off. As a catholic my na

tural instinct was to reach out to God, but my relationship with him wasn’t perfect. I had walked away from him and lived denying him for about 8 years. I had felt he had abandoned me and let me down over an unfortunate experience in my early twenties. Even when my heart began to feel a void , a sense of emptiness, I had stubbornly refused to acknowledge Him, I looked at options like Buddhism and even Islam but my heart was restless until I found myself at the door step at church and tentatively walked in. My return to church was not an earth shattering one, but for about 5 years since then it was a gradual build up to me feeling comfortable and accepted in the church.

Sitting on the floor in the darkened bath room, as the reality of my situation slowly sank in, I realized nothing short of a spectacular miracle will save my son. The ache in my heart progressing to a physical ache, I huddled further into a corner because the pain, the terror, the despair and loneliness in that moment of misery was just too much to bear.

As much as I cried and spoke to God, it was just me in that cold dark room. I don’t know what I was expecting, because I never knew of God speaking to us humans. The more I spoke to Him the more miserable and isolated I felt. And then started the flashing of images in my mind’s eye, of my every moment of Sin and the conviction that miracles were not happening for someone like me. I felt that there was no way God was going to even acknowledge me for the person I had been. The guilt of this was tormenting me; my baby was not going to have a chance in life because I was the sinner that bore him.

1. I resolved that I had to find away to reach God, I didn’t know how or what to expect. The situation was already decided. Reaching out to God despite myself, was more of an inbuilt instinct to keep hoping, rather than the conviction of knowing that God will actually show up and fix my son. I didn’t know what prayer I could even say, I felt too filthy and a shame to ask God. A million heartfelt words could not justify my sin, nor could it explain my desperation, but I had to try for my son’s sake. In desperation, not really knowing how to reach God, or how to plead my case for His mercy , yet desperate to give my son a chance at life, I resolved that I was just going to keep calling Him till He got sick of my calling and did something. For two days all I did was just blindly, with all the pain and shame in my heart sing “Kumbiyya Lord, Kumbiyya” a song I had learned in the school choir.

Soon after, someone told me that I should go to the prayer meeting at St.Peters and that miracles happened there. So tormented with guilt and feeling totally unworthy, I took my baby to St.Peters with the hope that the Lord would take pity on my son despite me.

As I walked in, even before I entered the hall I heard thaththa say the words my burning heart so desperately wanted to hear “ Come as you are, I love you” and the fire in my heart just seemed to settle, like someone had doused iced water on a raging fire. During that 1st prayer meeting all the Lord did was just embrace me and assure me that my sin did not matter, that I could have a 2nd chance, that I too was a child in his eyes that is loved as much as my new born.

The Lord had spoken and told me that I could have a 2nd chance, and when I went home that day, I knew that I would not be running from pillar to post looking for God, I had found my place at his feet and he was right here In my heart.

I had found acceptance and forgiveness in the Lord, and I had hope, but yet life wasn’t easy at first. We left the country soon after, and in the ensuing months the only thing that kept me sane was the take me higher CD and the strength and hope offered in scripture. I was in a new country, cut off from all that I knew, with two new screaming babies, sleepless nights and dark visions of death terrorizing my every waking and sleeping moment.

People would say “Have faith” and remind me that the faith the size of a mustard seed would move mountains. Iwanted to scream, can’t you see? The mustard sees is the mountain right now? “Surrender your son to God” they would say, and I would think to myself “Yeah, try offering your child to God and say in truth that you will accept it if God chooses to take him from you”

Gradually the nightmares stopped, and as I felt more secure in the Lord’s acceptance of me, I began to slowly experience his comforting presence. For the 1st time in my life, I began to realize that God was not far away up in the skies, but that he is real and present in our lives.

For a while the Lord was just a comforting presence. I was driven by this need to have enough faith so that by this faith my son would be healed. I was driven by “Be it done on to you according to your faith”. This bit of scripture both gave me hope that there was away for my son to be healed, but at the same time gave me nightmares. Every moment of doubt filled me with terror. I began to try and monitor spiritual progress with what others were able to do, like speak in tongues, and the ability to have visions etc. My sinful nature filled me with terror and everytime I lost my temper and reacted to it I would be filled with a sense of defeat. It was bad enough I was struggling with doubt and weakness, ambition too had gotten itself into the mix.

Even with the knowledge that God was a presence in my life despite my sin, I was living with a full on raging battle 2. Within my heart, head and spirit, It was not a nice place to be. In my more sane moments I could not believe that even in something as pure as pursing God, how things can be so twisted and ugly. It is as if you are invited to Elvis’ party and ending up dancing with Alwis instead who is stomping all over your feet. I did not see God move profoundly in my life until one day, fed up of the doubt, the wanting , the comparing, envy , trying to keep up and failure that I finally prayed my single most important prayer. “Lord I don’t trust my head or my heart; I don’t know where I am or where I need to be in my faith. Please just take over. Lord youmove me to the place you need me to be.” As I kept praying this and asking the Lord to lead me, the only sense I would get is this call to “Just be, Just be”. he Lord began to show me that in trying to live the 4 steps, I had turned my spiritual journey into a process driven exercise, that I was managing it like a project with the end goal of absolute faith = miracle for my son. Iwas still in control of the process of the truths I gave, and trying to direct and monitor my spiritual Journey with accomplishing an objective of my own. I realized this call to “Just be “was for me to just let go and stop worrying about where I was in faith or anything to do with my spiritual journey. All I was needed to do was to hold on to him regardless of what I thought of myself. As I finally relinquished my life’s spiritual journey into the hands of the Lord and stood holding Him accountable in ensuring I got to where He wanted me to be, I felt so relieved and at great peace. If I did not believe or have enough faith it was not my problem but His. The moment had finally come for me to meet my counselor, my nurturer and refiner. With that began my experience of real freedom and peace in the circumstances that had brought my life crashing down.

are long I could see how the Lord took absolute control of my spiritual journey, leading me into a total cleansing experience with the Holy spirit walking with me through my every memory from child hood, making me see why I turned out to be the way I was, the root causes of my weaknesses. Leading me to forgive and let go, blessing me with repentance for sins I never realized I had committed. I never realized I had so much garbage buried in me. I felt so free.

He blessed me with the ability accept and embrace the fact that I was loved despite myself, a sense of total acceptance. That with Him, I will always have second chances. I was blessed with the ability to see God in every incident in my life. One fine day he opened the eyes of my spirit and made me look back. I saw the time period I was away from Him, every single defining moment during that time and I saw so clearly how He was right beside me in every single of those moments, holding me and keeping me safe in the dangerous situations I had put my self in.

He took control when my son underwent his 1st heart surgery. He held me in perfect peace throughout the entire hospital stay. Even when they said that the surgery had gone wrong, that they had to repeat the 4 hour surgery, not only was I calm, I was filled with a sense of joy and I couldn’t even bring myself to say a prayer. All I felt was the need to keep praising him. My husband who is a Buddhist was blessed with an uncharacteristic calm though it all.

Whenever I laid hands on my son to pray over him, the presence of the Lord in him was so great it would be like a current running through my body. For the 1st time, I felt like I was the outsider in my son’s life. That he was already in the care of his real Father and there was nothing I could ever wish for or ask for that his real father would not have already thought of.

3. It’s been almost 4 years since I 1st discovered the joy of surrendering my life to the Lord, and I have been blessed so very much, but yet I get carried away with life. I am a changed person, but yet my sinful nature is the cross I carry as I walk with the Lord. I fall so badly and I still keep crawling back, with egg on my face and stinking of sin but trusting that He still wants me. Having known His peace I don’t want to live without it, I can’t live without it. There are days I just say “Lord I have nothing to say” and We sit in total compatible silence. There are days I say “ Lord I just don’t feel like sitting with you, But I don’t want to lose your presence” and He would still show up. There are days I would only cry into his lap, the pain too much and He would just comfort. There are days I say “ Lord I just don’t get it “ and He would teach. I would call out in trouble and He is there with all His glory and powerresolving it perfectly. I am yet the ungrateful child and He still loves me, He still keeps showing up, loving and giving. He loves me like He is a fool in love and I deserve nothing of this grace.

He is my most intimate friend, He is all and everything that I need, He is My Lord, My God, most of all He is my Dad. In this relationship I live with the carefree abandon of a secure child.

In reality, no Mum in the world will want my life. As a Mum I was robbed of the joy of being a Mum without the tag of heart ache attached to it. There are no traces of the successful career driven life that once was mine. I have had to set up home in a foreign land away from my family and friends that cannot even be there for me. I am alone with my twin sons as my husband’s work takes him abroad for 3 weeks of each month. I deal with the daily realities of my son’s situation. The endless night terrors, getting him through his hospital checkups and surgical procedures, The emotional tug as I watch him yarn to and struggle to keep up with his twin, dealing with the twin who has his own emotional issues being a victim of his brothers circumstances. This is on top of managing the house, the school runs, the tantrums and days when they are both fighting the flu all by myself. Lurking in the back ground to all of this is that, my son is living with a death sentence hanging over his head and the doctors to date have never given us any reason to get our hopes up.

When I look at this list, my heart bleeds for the woman in the story, but the truth is I don’t recognize this situation to be mine. The Lord holds me in total peace through it all. It is as if I am spiritually functioning on a parallel universe to reality. I have found that when I am in the spirit, time stands still and I seem to fly through the day, but on the days when I am in the flesh, I seem to be standing still and time flies and I am unsettled and tired. People think I am going through hell, they ask me how I cope, and nothing makes me want to laugh more than their reaction when I say “Oh I just pray”.

As I write this my mind is drawn to the moment the Lord calmed the storm and invited peter to walk across the water over to Him, and in my mind’s eye I see how unknown to me this has become a reality in my life. I see me (my life) in the perfect storm in the middle of the sea. A few yards in front of me I see the Lord smiling. Behind Him and around us is the vicious darkness of the storm that surrounds my life, my feet are balancing gingerly on top the violently lashing sea water, nipping at my heals threatening to drag me down into the emotional despair of fear, worry, heart ache, self pity and all that comes with the storm of life. Yet in the few yards between me and the Lord is bright sun shine and as I keep looking at Him, I am drawn and mesmerized and oblivious to the storm that surrounds us, or the depths of despair that lie beneath my feet. I am held secure in that intimate spot of sun shine amidst the raging storm. This is not the journey I planned, but the one that the Lord is leading me on. Yes, I see the word come alive in my life.

I came to the Lord, looking for a miracle for my son, but I have stumbled upon a miracle that is taking place in my life. Somewhere down the line, my focus has shifted from my son’s situation to all that is of the Lord . Where I

4. Am in my faith doesn’t worry me. I just keep giving the truth of how I feel and trust the Lord to move me to whereHe needs me to be. Besides I am not getting into that driving seat again.

I still don’t know what absolute faith feels like , the kind of faith that assures me that my son will be healed for sure. But that doesn’t seem to matter anymore. For now at least what I am blessed with is a sense of absolute trust in my God in everything about my life and everything that happens in it and I am at total peace. I am blessed with the ability to disregard all that I see or others see and to blindly trust the Lord whom I see in trust and faith.

I no longer beat myself when I doubt. I have learned that what matters is not my unshakable faith, but the trust in the Lord who stands true when I fall apart in faith. He is the rock that my soul and spirit seems to be wrapped around, holding me in place when I tend to fall apart.

In that trust, I realize God has set me free within my own circumstances to worship him with absolute freedom for the sheer joy of it. No I have not given up on my son; hope is very much alive in my heart. But I also trust my God to hold me and carry me through the darkest most volatile storms he permits in my life.

Yes, I know you will not want my life, but I pray to God that you will see and know for your selves the absolute beauty of the place I am held within this storm. I pray that my story is not one that will merely be applauded, but one that will have every one reaching out to embrace this same God who is so beautiful. A God I fall in love with a little bit more every day.
When Lalith thaththa asked me whether I’d be able to share my testimony on Day of Revival, I was shocked for 2 reasons. Firstly, God was doing mighty things in my life and He had been telling me it was time for me to stand up for Him and speak on behalf of His Name so that others will see His glory. This was a confirmation of what God was telling me to do. The second reason being, if anyone had ever known me before 2009, they’d know that I would’ve never been able to do something like this. Therefore it is with great honour and privilege that I stand before You, God my father, and you, Boiya and all of you my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus.

Before I begin my testimony I wish to share a bit of my background. I am Anuki and am 27 years old. I came to know the Lord through the Wednesday prayer meeting held at St. Peters College, Bambalapitiya, about 7 years back.

I come from a family where I have had no problems or issues. I had parents and a sister who’ve always been a god-send, which was more than I could ask for. When I came to the prayer meetings I had no problem and no crisis.

Around year 2005, I wanted to serve the Lord more and I joined the servers. That is where I met my husband Nishan/Boiya. As a child I would always pray to God: “Dear Lord, please give me a husband just like my own father.” God loved me so much that he fulfilled my desire by giving Boiya to me. He was more than what I’d ever expected or desired. We got married on 12th July 2008 and that was the BEST time I’ve had in my life.

My journey with the Lord took a big twist when God suddenly called Boiya back home on the 17th of May 2009, only 10 months after our marriage. There are NO WORDS to describe the utter devastation that I felt. My world came crashing down! I was so ANGRY with the Lord and I didn’t want to have anything to do with Him. Even though by that time it had been 6 years since I’d come to know the Lord, I was not able to deal with it. I hated the sound of a prayer meeting and everything else that associated with God.

Boiya was someone who understood the full measure of his purpose here on earth. He was sooo committed to doing God’s work. That CRL became his life, and he lived in service of the Lord. I questioned God. “Why did You do this to me??? Why did You take Boiya away from me, leaving my life empty lonely and meaningless. I don’t know what to do!” I had lost my purpose completely and I ceased to believe that God was real. If He had been real why would He have taken Boiya away from me? Lots of people came up to me and said “Don’t worry! God is in control” I hated it… It was a curse! If it had happened to them, would they still have said it?

The first love experience happened on the 9th of September 2009 at the Wednesday prayer meeting. I wept from the beginning of the worship. I screamed to God. “Please give me my Boiya back, I can’t live without him” I fought with God because I wanted my way, then the music ministry began singing “You are my strength…. Strength like no other…….” When I heard it, something happened to me. I have heard that song so many times before with no feeling, but that day, something happened. I felt someone saying “I’m going to be with you no matter what.” I knew it was God giving me His assurance and I was able to open my mouth and praise Him for the first time since I’d lost Boiya. Then came the words of knowledge. The final word, which was given in Sinhala, was definitely for me. It said “Someone who is depressed and has lost sense of direction in life, Jesus wants to tell you that He will love you and be with you forever and He will make your future beautiful, beyond comprehension.” It was for me……. Totally for me……………… For me…….. Without any doubt.

The more I rejected God, the more He started to love me. The more I tried to distant myself from Him, the more He came looking for me… I fought with God like nothing. I told God, “I want Boiya back! If You are God, then give him back to me.” But God was loving me as I fought Him…. He was telling me “You are mine and there is sooo much I want to give you. Just open your heart to Me and let Me love you.”

That is when I slowly began to experience the love of the Lord. Amidst all these feelings, still God’s love became real. He searched me and loved me…. Almost all of the praise songs spoke to me as if God were expressing His love for me.

Even though I experienced the Lord, I had soo many things of the flesh revolving around me. The tensions and the pressures of this world. As a solution I sought sympathy and acceptance from others, other than from the Lord. I loved it when others accepted me and recognised me. Through it all I fell sooo much…. I felt so lonely and empty in my life… I missed my husband so much and asked God time and time again. Why lord why??? But through all these situations the highlight was that the Lord loved me and He always made it a point to tell me “I am holding your hand as you walk through this journey of life, and remember no matter what, I am never letting you go.”

From the Revival Day of 2009 to the Revival Day of 2010, I have come a very long way. God has become so real to me like none other. It’s true I can’t see a meaning to my life, it’s also true that I don’t know what my future is going to be or where it’s heading. I also know everything seems so dark and shadowed. One thing is CERTAIN though, that God IS in control of EVERY situation and the plans He has are “..to prosper me and not to harm me..” So therefore, I stand in confidence and say that my purpose in life is GOD, and as I seek His face, I see my future safe in His hands.

This has been my desert experience. If my husband never went to the Lord, I would NEVER have known the Lord this way. My husband was the greatest gift God had ever given me, and I know that God may give and take as He pleases, as the universe is under the control of the Great and Mighty One.

During the last year I have come to know the Lord in a very personal manner. God was more real than having Boiya by my side. Every time I experience God in an amazing way, I feel the presence of Boiya oh so much… He is soooo happy and glad for me.

Of all the experiences I have had during the last year I had a very personal encounter at the Holy Land. We visited many places but God became so real to me at Gethsemane. Just as Lalith thaththa began the holy hour, I suddenly felt this sense of loneliness overwhelming me and without knowing, started to cry. I was crying because I missed Boiya and because my life was lonely and because my future was dark and I didn’t know what to do with myself, but then as thaththa meditated I felt Jesus speaking to me though him. He said these words… “I know what u are going through, I understand your pain. I feel it. Don’t ever think you are alone. I am with you and I am taking care of you. You are My child and I love you very much. Even though you can’t love Me the same way.” As he continued, everything that was said simply touched my heart. I cried that whole hour for not trusting God and for not trusting in His love. The hour ended with so much of freedom and love in my heart.

At the end of the journey a friend gifted me with this promise;

Isaiah 46.4 “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and rescue you.” In and through all of this, I am not saying my life is easy. I know that more hardships are on the way and I know I have to deal with more.

All I can say is my life had been a rollercoaster ride and it’s full of ups and downs and sometimes I can be a mess but through it all one thing remains constant, and that is GOD!! NOTHING can ever change that! God is my purpose for the future and GOD is my life and I know He takes care of me and always will.

God has breathed His life into me. I will not live a defeated life. He has equipped me with everything that I need. I therefore can do all things through Christ, and I will fulfil my God given destiny. That is the mission God has given me for the rest of my days. I am not going back! I’m pressing on with the strength of the Lord!!

Finally I would just like to reflect on a few words that we sing these days at our prayer meetings which have been an inspiration to me:

When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm. Father, You are King over the flood. And I will be still and know YOU ARE GOD! If you have lost all hope in life and lost purpose, don’t ever forget that GOD STILL SITS ON THE THRONE!!! in the manner in which the Lord has been a source of strength to me, He will be that same strength to you!